Time Goes By So Slowly
by perfidiouspink
Summary: In which nothing at all really happens: Duo gives the dudes a strange chocolately dessert. Enter the extremely OOC mind of Trowa


**AN: **I have really weird stupid humour...but I had to write this for myself. It made me lol, and some happenings are based loosely on certain people I know. But I would love if others found it funny too.

I will say extremely OOC Trowa is courtesy of Duo's magical brownies.

**Disclaimer: The Gundam fellers are not mine. Also marijuana is only for medicinal use OK KIDS?? Cool.  
Select quotes from Emerson, and Lord Tennyson reside herein...**

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Quatre Winner leaned in his red eyes darting around. "Guys. Guyssss," He whispered. "Those people are _staring_ at us." Then he leaned back and giggled nervously. 

"_Relax_," I said, breathing deeply. "They're _totally_ not." I nodded sagely, to emphasize my observation. I also wondered why it was so dark, before I remembered to open my eyes.

The dimly lit café was playing a suave classic by Ella Fitzgerald. The jazztastic tune added to the relaxed atmosphere quite well. Maxwell had always had above par ideas for places to hang with the guys. Where was he anyway? Ah well, no sense in worrying.

"Trowa, that was so out of character!?!" Quatre exclaimed.

Uh oh, hysterical Quatre.

Heero Yuy was alternately staring between the two of us and at the half-empty container on the table with a wide-eyed expression of horror. Or was it awe?

"What," he began to say, "What was _in_ that?"

At that moment, the situation was pristine in its clarity. I became a transparent eyeball. I am nothing. I see all. Etc.

"It _totally_ had marijuana it." I nodded sagely once again.

We looked at one another.

"I'm going to –gasp- to _murder_ Maxwell!" Wufei shook his fist.

Heero pounded the table in agreement and accidently broke it in half.

I realized then if I didn't stop _giggling_ I was going to vomit my intestines out. SInce when did I giggle anyway? Across the small room the man behind the antique mahogany counter quickly went around and flipped the closed sign on the door. His wide-eyed look of reverence and instant recognition disgusted me; He'd lick our shoes for an autograph.

"That guy is a total asshole." I said and nodded towards the server.

"He'd lick our shoes for an autograph," Wufei said with disgust.

My mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Amazing. I was _just_ thinking that." Wufei and I were totally soulmates. I should tell him that sometime.

Suddenly, I was really tired.

"Guys. Guyssss," Quatre leaned in to whisper. His paranoia was no longer amusing.

"Shutup Winner." Heero ordered. "Trowa. What should we do?"

They turned to me like the tides on the beach. Break, break, break.

I was overcome with the immeasurable weight of time.

"Right. Comrades," I fought my 10 pound eyelids, "I'm the leader, and…I'm _shockingly _hungry. I say we eat."

Apparently that was the cue for all to nod cleverly.

"That's so true!" Quatre exclaimed. He giggled nervously and looked around again in abject misery, "Oh my God! That was _really_ loud wasn't it?!"

I glared at him in disapproval.

"Winner. Cut the crap," Heero ordered. Then we all took turns glaring him into submission. (AN: lol) Paranoai was _so_ not cool.

"Ok. So we eat," I continued, "And Quatre won't feel so crazy and Heero will be able to repress his inner robot." I surveyed the table. "Oh. And I should start... Not...Talking so much."

I smiled and spread my arms wide. Behold the glory of my wisdom.

Heero and Quatre "oohed" and "aahed" respectively.

Wufei roused from his corner of the booth and pointed his finger at me.

"You!" He thundered.

We stared at him. And there wasn't anymore. Chang and his strange non-sequitors. Come to think of it, he did that a lot. Like that time I asked him why he smelled like he bathed in roses, and he totally changed the subject and started talking about Treize Kushrenada, Justice and rapiers or some such nonsense. Weird guy.

"Ok…" Heero summed it up for us. He threw some credits on the table, "Everybody follow Trowa."

I was the center of attention again.

What were we supposed to do? Ah yes. Food. I slowly looked down. I was sitting. I looked up and noticed that the others also looked dismayed at the trials ahead.

"Ok." I said again, rubbing a hand on my face. "First, we have to get up. And then, we have to leave." I sighed.

Heero groaned. And nobody moved. I almost made it out of the booth but had to sit back down. We laughed weakly.

"I'm _so_ tired," Quatre whispered.

"_Why_ are you whispering, again?" Heero stared at Quatre.

"Shh! Stop acting strange, they'll _know_!" Quatre wrung his hands nervously.

"Hey, you know who Quatre is?" Heero pounded his fist on the remains of the table, essentially turning it into dust. "He's that kid, from that movie. You know…that kid!"

I snorted and chortled and made all sorts of sounds.

Hopefully he would think I understood his convoluted revelation.

"Yeah," Heero leaned back and closed his eyes. My ambiguous reply seemed to satisfy.

Wufei and I made eye contact. I bet he was thinking the same thing. Did I mention I love Wufei? I really do.

After an immeasurable length of time, during which paranoid-and-immensely-annoying Quatre fumed silently, I realized we had yet to complete step one in Mission: Get Food.

Heaving myself to my feet, I blinked in surprise and looked down upon my flock

"To the Quickie Mart."

FIN?!


End file.
